


Come Here, Rude Boy

by darkrosaleen



Category: Goon (2011)
Genre: Discipline, Dom/sub, F/M, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 04:20:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2799374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkrosaleen/pseuds/darkrosaleen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Xavier is a brat, Eva is annoyed, and Doug is the smartest person in the room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Here, Rude Boy

**Author's Note:**

  * For [miriad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miriad/gifts).



Xavier LaFlamme had the worst music taste of anyone Eva had ever met. He played terrible reggaeton every time he brought someone home, cranked to a volume that made Doug’s mattress vibrate. 

“How does he even stay hard?” Eva whined. “I feel like my ears are bleeding.” 

Doug knocked three times on the wall above his head, and Eva sat up off of his face. He was breathing hard and his mouth was filthy with her slick. Eva’s cunt gave a desperate little twitch.

“If you’re having trouble, you could untie my hands and let me finger you.” Doug gave her a hopeful little smile and wiggled his fingers. Eva laughed and stroked his cheek.

“Nice try, baby, but you know the rules.” 

Doug sighed. “I get my hands when you get your orgasm.” 

“Good boy.” She climbed back on, giving a deep, shuddering sigh when Doug’s tongue slid up into her. 

Doug was a lot sweeter than the guys she usually went for, but this was the perfect middle ground between his need to serve and her need to control. She loved the scratch of Doug’s stubble on her thighs, the way his wrists flexed against her scarf, how his chest moved under her when he was struggling to breathe. Eva felt a hot, pulsing throb build with each flick of his tongue against her clit.

Xavier’s companion screamed like she was being murdered. Eva’s approaching orgasm fizzled out, and she banged on the wall.

“Knock it off! I know you’re faking, I’ve seen his fuck tape.” There was a pause, and then the music doubled in volume.

Eva really wanted to hit something, so she smacked the wall again. “I should go throw his fucking speakers out the fucking window.”

Xavier was moaning theatrically in French, something about taking his big cock like a slut/whore/bitch. Eva was close to actually getting up when Doug knocked on the wall again. 

“Tell me what you’d do to him? If you went over.” Doug was squirming in a way that meant he was probably close. He wasn’t usually into dirty talk, but he had some of his best ideas during sex, so Eva just hopped back on and went for it.

“I’d throw his fucking speakers out the window. Then I’d stick a sock in his mouth and make him watch while you fucked his puckbunny. You’d do that for me, right, Dougie?”

Doug groaned, and Eva felt it all through her pussy. She ground her hips against his face. “Yeah, you’d make her scream for real with your big cock. Then when he was all horny and desperate, I’d spank him. Hard. Fuck, I bet he’d squeal like a little bitch.” She let herself imagine it—Xavier’s lean muscles stretched out on the bed, his big ass getting hot and red under her hand. 

Eva heard Xavier moan out his orgasm in the next room. She thought about him sounding like that under her hands and came all over Doug’s face.

“Oh, fuck, fuck. Good job, baby.” She scratched Doug’s head, then worked the knot free so he could get a hand on his cock. Eva moved down so she could kiss him through it, tasting herself on his mouth. The other bedroom was quiet after he finished. 

“Eva, have you really seen Xavier’s sex tape?”

Doug didn’t look angry, just curious. He was the most weirdly open-minded straight guy Eva had ever met, so she tried to trust him with these things.

“Yeah, when it first leaked. It was one of the worst athlete sex tapes I’ve ever seen. He fucks like a jackrabbit on speed.” 

Eva had still gotten off to it, which was embarrassing more for the Ed Hardy than the fact that she basically lived with him now. It hadn’t even been hot, other than how obvious it was that Xavier got off on being watched. So it wasn’t like she liked him or anything.

Doug nodded. “Yeah, the girls never seem happy in the morning.” He yawned, and Eva reached down to pull the comforter up around them. “It’s too bad they don’t stick around long enough to train him. He’s a really quick learner, as long as you’re firm with him.”

Eva shivered. Must have been the cold. “Yeah, that’s too bad.” She wondered if their hot coach had ever tried to train him. 

Xavier and his lady friend started round two before Eva fell asleep. She could have sworn she heard the girl giving him directions, but Eva’s French was so rusty that she couldn’t be sure.

-

Eva stood in front of the empty silverware drawer with a bowl of soup in her hand, peering through the piles and piles of dirty dishes in the sink.

“This is a fucking disgrace. How am I supposed to eat soup without a spoon? Xavier, come over here and clean this up.”

Xavier scowled and slammed the refrigerator. “Why you always nagging me? You’re not my fucking _maman._ Go bother Doug, he’s already fucking whipped.” 

He stomped off to his bedroom, leaving a half-eaten container of pad Thai on the counter. Eva grabbed a plastic measuring spoon and took her soup into the living room, where Doug was streaming the Boston/Detroit game.

“If the contents of your sink rise up and overthrow human society, let the record state that I did my best.” Eva sat down next to him and put her feet up. “Any idea what crawled up Frenchy’s ass?”

Doug was a bit slow to respond, although he might have been distracted by the scrum in the Blackjacks’ crease. “He’s mad because Calgary scored the winning goal when he was in the box.”

“Are you mad about it?”

Doug thought for a moment. “Kind of. I was on the bench when they scored, but I still kind of feel like it’s my fault? Like I should’ve taken the guy out before he could bait Xavier into a penalty. You know what a hothead he is.”

Eva set her bowl on the coffee table. “Will it make you feel better to kneel for a while?”

“Wait for the intermission,” Doug said. The stream froze, and he leaned forward to smack the side of his laptop. 

When Xavier finally reappeared, Doug was kneeling on the floor with Eva’s feet in his lap. She’d pulled one of the cushions off the couch to protect Doug’s knees, so Xavier crowded in on her other side, his bathrobe sliding obscenely up his thighs.

It really was horrible that she’d gotten off to his sex tape.

Eva poked Doug’s stomach with her foot. “Go get me a beer, Dougie.”

He lifted his head up off her knee. “Just one?” The look on his face made Eva’s stomach wobbly, and she reached down to rub his head.

“Two, then. You’ve been good.” 

Doug beamed and jumped up to retrieve their beers. Xavier watched him go with a look on his face that was halfway between disgust and curiosity.

“Must be nice, huh? Having your own personal slave.”

Eva shrugged. “He likes being helpful.” 

Almost unconsciously, she let her legs fall further apart and her hips slide forward. Hockey players were not respectful and feminist as a rule, but Eva found that they usually deferred to the biggest dick in the room. She’d worn enough strap-ons in her life to play the part.

Eva didn’t miss the way Xavier spread his legs wider in response.

Doug came back and handed Eva her beer. He knelt on the floor with his back against the couch to watch the second period. Eva ran her nails gently over Doug’s scalp until he sighed and dipped his head back into her lap.

Xavier didn’t talk much, except to criticize Boston’s puck possession and comment on what a slut number 37 had been in World Juniors. But his eyes kept darting over to Eva’s hands on Doug, and he kept his legs spread enough that his knee touched Eva’s. It made her want to order Doug to jerk off, just to prove she could.

The second period ended with a filthy Detroit goal that made Doug wince and Xavier cackle. “See, that’s how you do it. Shove it in that tight hole. Your d-men are really Detroit’s bitches, _oui?_ ” He slapped Doug on the shoulder, and it was a sign of Doug’s annoyance that he shrugged Xavier’s hand off.

“You don’t even like the Road Wheels. You told me American teams are shit and don’t play real hockey.”

Doug was in a really bad place if he couldn’t take a bit of trash talk, but it had been a rough night. Eva leaned over and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Ignore him, Dougie. He’s from Montreal, hating the Blackjacks is embedded in his DNA.” Not that Xavier had any loyalty to Montreal these days, but old habits died hard. “Speaking of, Xavier, when was the last time the Corsairs won the cup?”

Xavier flipped her off. “You should suck off Boston’s defense, if you think they’re so great.”

Doug tensed against her legs, and Eva tightened her hand on the back of his neck. “Watch it, LaFlamme. I’m not in a good mood.”

“Or what, you’ll spank me?”

Eva wasn’t expecting that. She looked over at Xavier, who gave her a filthy grin and grabbed his crotch through his bathrobe. 

Eva’s stomach flipped. 

Xavier yawned and stretched, pulling the hem of his bathrobe up so high she could see his balls. “ _Merde_ , I’m tired. Enjoy being ass raped by Detroit.” With another dirty grin, he stood up and went back into his room. 

Eva slumped back against the couch, feeling hot and shivery for no particular reason. “God, what a disgusting, macho piece of shit. Somebody needs to smack some sense into him.”

Doug turned around and rested his chin on her knees. He looked like he was trying not to laugh. “Do you want that somebody to be you? Because that would be really hot.”

Eva sighed. “You’re too good for this world, Doug.” She tugged him up onto the couch. There was still time for a blowjob before the third period started.

-

Eva sat on the kitchen counter in her pajamas, reading Hockey News on her phone while Doug made pasta. Xavier was bouncing around the kitchen in tiny underpants, making some kind of smoothie that required him to lick sticky substances off his fingers. 

It was a lot less sexy when Eva realized that he was smearing honey and peanut butter all over the blender. “Hey,” she barked. “Go wash your hands. You’re making a mess.”

Xavier glared at her. “ _Tabarnac_ , you’re bossy. Are you going to give me time out? Won’t work on me, I still have my balls.” He reached down and grabbed his crotch. 

God, he was awful. Eva crossed her legs. “Do that again and I’ll serve your balls on a plate, pretty boy. I don’t want Doug catching syphilis from using the blender.” 

Xavier snorted. “Like he didn’t catch it from you.”

Doug tensed up at her side, and Eva gripped his shoulder warningly. The Highlanders would be pretty pissed at her if she got their star forward punched to death.

That didn’t mean she’d lie down and take it, though.

“Are you asking for a beating, LaFlamme? Because you’re about to fucking get one.” 

Xavier’s back tensed. He seemed to be chucking his knife at the cutting board. “I’m not your bitch, you know. You wish you had a big cock like me, but you’re just a slut.”

Eva gasped. Xavier was a dick, but he wasn’t _that_ much of a dick. “If you don’t shut up, I am seriously going to go over there and smack you.”

Xavier shuddered. 

Eva noticed the tight set of his shoulders, his hunched neck, the restless way he shifted from one foot to the other. When Xavier was angry, he had no problem getting in everyone’s faces. Right now, he looked _embarrassed_.

Holy fucking shit. Xavier was totally asking for a beating.

Eva squeezed Doug’s shoulder and hopped off the counter. She pressed up against Xavier’s back, pinning him in with her arms on the counter. He could have easily pushed her off, but he didn’t, so she stood on her toes to whisper in his ear.

“I have seven cocks bigger than yours, you ass-munching piece of shit.”

“In five colors,” Doug added. His voice was cracking a little, and Eva grinned. She rubbed her crotch against Xavier’s ass, which was just as round and perky as she’d always imagined. Xavier gripped the counter with white knuckles.

“ _Sacre coeur_. Hit me already, you fucking tease.”

Oh, this was going to be delicious.

Eva wove her fingers through Xavier’s silky hair and yanked. “Dougie, do you think I should hit him?” Xavier was making the best noises, grinding back against her like she had a real dick. It was seriously working for her.

“I don’t know, Eva. He is being very rude.” Doug was staring at them with a dazed expression, already hard in his jeans. He’d probably be content just to watch, but what was the point in having all that muscle under her control if she wasn’t going to use it?

“Bedroom, now, both of you.” Eva dragged Xavier along by his hair, trying to decipher his stream of profanity with her sub-par French. By the time she shoved him onto Doug’s bed, he was naked and hard.

“Your safeword is Montreal,” Eva said, pulling off her shirt. “You’ve been a very naughty boy, Xavier LaFlamme. And what do naughty boys get?”

Xavier was leaning back on his elbows, his dick flushed and curving up against his stomach. It was nice and long, precome shining right where the foreskin was pulled back. His briefs hung cheekily from his ankle. 

“They get to do naughty things?” Xavier leered at her naked body, lingering on her boobs. It made Eva flush a little.

She shook her head. “Naughty boys get spankings.” 

Eva didn’t know which was hotter, Xavier’s alarmed expression or the way his dick twitched.

She sat on the edge of the bed and patted her thigh. Xavier looked from Eva’s lap to Doug, who was standing against the wall with his arms crossed, looking much more menacing than he probably felt. Then Xavier looked back at her tits. After a moment’s hesitation, he frowned.

“You can’t spank me. I’m not a fucking kid.”

Okay, that was a master level pout. Eva grabbed the back of Xavier’s neck and tugged until he was sprawled over her lap. His dick was pressed tight between her thighs, tantalizingly close to her dripping cunt. She ran her hand down the curve of his spine and into the dip of his lower back.

“Doug, get over here and hold his wrists.” Xavier gasped and squirmed when Doug pinned his forearms to the bed. Eva grinned—Doug was such a good sub that he didn’t need to be tied up, he just stayed wherever she put him. She missed watching a strong guy writhe around in bondage.

Eva didn’t warn Xavier before the first smack. It was worth it for the way his whole body jerked and he rutted desperately between her thighs. The fourth smack earned her a grunted _tabarnac_ , shaky and muffled against his arm. By the tenth, his face was as red as his ass.

“Look at you,” she said, grabbing a handful and squeezing roughly (she’d fucked a lot of hockey players, but it never got old). Xavier whined and pushed into her hand. “You love this. Are you a dirty slut, LaFlamme?”

“ _Oui_ ,” Xavier gasped. “I’m a dirty slut, fuck.”

Eva landed her next slap on the tender skin of his upper thighs. Xavier yelped. “Are you a bigger slut than me?”

“I’m a bigger slut than you. _Criss_ , hit me again.”

Eva kept spanking him until her palm tingled and Xavier was a panting, twitching mess. He was fucking frantically between her thighs, thrusting hard without getting any real friction. She sympathized—his cock kept glancing at her clit, never getting close enough.

Eva looked over at Doug. His chest was heaving and he had that glassy-eyed look he got when he was too turned on to think straight. His hands were still right where she told him to put them.

“Hey, baby.” She ran her hand over Doug’s hair, and he leaned into her touch. “Want to come on Xavier’s ass for me?”

Doug moaned. “Oh yeah. I mean, yes please.” 

Xavier lifted his head and gave Eva a withering look. “That’s all? He’s not even fucking me?”

Well. Eva filed that away for future consideration. She clenched her thighs together, gasping at the way it made Xavier’s cock rub against her slit. “You, dirty boy, are going to fuck my thighs until you come.”

Xavier inhaled sharply. Doug crawled over to the other side of the bed and started jerking off.

“Is this good?” Doug asked, his voice low and breathless. Even in his huge hands, his cock looked impressively thick. Eva swallowed hard and nodded.

Xavier moved more carefully now that he was paying attention. He angled his thrusts so that the head of his cock dragged against her lips, making her cunt twitch in anticipation of being fucked. Eva was sopping wet, and it made it easier for Xavier to fuck her hard and deep, his ass flexing under her hands.

Eva found that she didn’t mind the jackrabbit thing when it was being directed at her pussy.

Part of her wanted to just spread her legs and let Xavier fuck her until she couldn’t walk. But he looked so needy, rutting between her thighs like a horny teenager. Eva ran her hands over his powerful thighs and back to the red marks on his ass, digging her fingers in just to hear him whine.

Doug grunted and came all over Xavier’s ass. Eva rubbed it in with her palm, moaning at how hot his skin still felt. “Fuck, Xavier. You look like a goddamn train wreck.”

Doug kissed the top of Eva’s head. “We did that to him, baby. He’s our train wreck.”

Xavier made a growling noise in the back of his throat and came, fucking her thighs hard enough to leave bruises.

Xavier rolled off of her with a groan, leaving her hot and sticky and unsatisfied. It was probably an ironic statement about Eva’s taste in men, but she was too busy shoving Doug’s hand between her legs to pay attention. 

Xavier appeared to be clinically dead, so she curled up a few inches away from him and let Doug spoon her. Xavier smelled like pot and shitty cologne, and it startled Eva how much she liked having that smell in her bed.

Doug’s bed. Their bed. Shit.

For all her experience, Eva hadn’t had a lot of threesomes. She’d definitely never invited her boyfriend’s roommate to join in on the fun, and even if she had, none of her ex-boyfriends had a roommate as codependent as Doug and Xavier. 

Eva wondered what Doug thought about all of this, other than being turned on and way too eager to please. She probably should have been wondering that from the beginning.

“Dougie, was this a really bad idea?”

Doug’s arm tightened around her waist. “Probably, but he’ll be better next time. I told you he was a fast learner.”

Next time. Eva liked the sound of that. 

\--

She woke up alone with sore thighs. She picked up Doug’s Highlanders sweatshirt off the floor and wandered out to the living room, where Doug was hunched over a plate of eggs and toast. He smiled when she walked in and patted the sofa next to him.

“Xavier’s hiding,” he said through a mouthful of eggs. “But it’s okay. I have a plan.”

That didn’t make Eva feel better, but she didn’t want Doug to know that, so she tangled her legs with his and stole the toast off his plate.

Twenty minutes later, Xavier slunk out of his bedroom. He was wearing pants for once, and he shot them a furtive look before he went over to the fridge. Doug squeezed Eva’s thigh and got up.

From where she sat, Eva could see Doug grip the back of Xavier’s neck and lean down to whisper in his ear. Xavier’s back went rigid, and he looked fidgety, like he wanted to pull away but was making himself stand still. He winced when Doug’s hand tightened.

Eva dropped her toast.

Doug steered Xavier into the living room until he was standing in front of her, scowling at his feet. His chest looked a little red.

“I’m sorry I called you a slut, Eva.” 

Doug squeezed his neck again, and Xavier made a breathy noise. “I’m a bigger slut than you and I wanted Doug to fuck me in the ass since he moved in. And I know you don't have syphilis.”

He looked surly and embarrassed. He also looked half hard. Eva stood up and pulled on Xavier’s chin until he raised his eyes from the floor.

“Listen to me. The next time you want me to hurt you, ask nicely. Nice boys get what they ask for.”

Xavier’s eyes widened. “I—next time?” He smiled, and it was such an uncharacteristically sweet expression that Eva felt her stomach swoop a little. She looked up at Doug, who was smiling too.

“Yeah. Next time.” Eva stood up on her toes to whisper in Xavier’s ear. “I like naughty boys, but if you call me a slut again, I will make you sorry.”

Xavier shivered. “Yeah? How?”

Eva sat back on the couch. She looked Xavier up and down, from his lean shoulders to his sharp hipbones to the bulge in his sweatpants. He was already a slim guy, but he looked positively delicate in Doug’s hands. 

She let both guys see her looking, because if they were doing this, she wanted her appetites to be understood and catered to at all times. Maybe she should institute a no-pants-in-the-apartment rule.

“I want you to clean the kitchen from top to bottom. Naked.”

Xavier squawked about it, but by the time he was done, the kitchen was spotless. That was what Eva called love.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this, Miriad! Big thank you to I and F for beta reading.


End file.
